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When I was young we had a swing set in our yard. Our Yard was built on a hill and we had very little flat places to put the swing set. So our swing set was on the lower plot of land that my parents owned. It was also near the tree line behind our house. We all had our “self appointed” swing that we used. I don’t ever remember our older brothers using the swing set. There was four little ones and we four used the swing set. My brother, we will call him number three, used one of the single swings, my sister used the other single swings and my youngest brother and I used the see-saw swing, or as we called it the space ship.

One day I went out to the swings, which was not unusual, because I both loved to be outside and I loved to swing. I was out there using one of the single swings because the swing rules were fast and loose that way. I was there swinging and probably singing some made up songs about clouds and birds, because I was cool like that, when number three came out and said to me “Hey, try to kick me in the face.”

Yes you read that correctly, one of our made up games was “Try to kick me in the face!” I was swinging and swinging. I was pumping my legs harder and harder. I was kicking my legs forward and reaching further with my toes trying to stretch so far so that I could kick my brother in the face. I didn’t want to kick him in the face but it was the object of the game. I don’t know what I was going to win, I mean probably an ass beating, but thems are the rules and I play by the rules. So as I was pumping and stretching and reaching and doing my best to kick my brother in the face, as he was standing out of my reach, I didn’t realize that the puny fucking swing set was giving up or maybe it was trying to help because that bitch of a swing set was humping up out of the ground. Finally the swing set tipped over and there I was on the ground. My brother did not get kicked in the face and as far as I know he didn’t even get hurt. BUT the aluminum slide did. That slide bent in half. So when my brother and I put the swing set upright the slide had this ninety degree angle in it. We both looked at it with wide eyes and decided that we had better fix it. I mean how the hell could we burn our asses on a hot slide if we couldn’t even use it. So we bent it back and now there was the hope of tetanus too. So if you rode our slide you had to wear long pants or else you were risking lockjaw.

Another game we played on the swing set was try to flip over the top bar. Also ended with the swing set tipping over. My youngest brother and I, as I had mentioned, rode the space ship swing and man did we go on some lovely adventures with that thing. WE saw aliens and walked on the moon. There was the time we all piled on it to see if we could swing if all the neighborhood children were on it all together. Also tipping the swing over. I got a fat lip with that one because I was horse laughing as we were all trying to swing and I’m pretty sure my jagged ass buck teeth took a chunk out of  someone’s skull.

As we grew older we didn’t use the swings as much and one day it was gone. That was probably a sad day for that tired, old bent up swing set. We kids all growing up and not using it anymore. The aluminum slide heated up in the hot sun but there were no asses to burn. No legs to stick to it as they were trying to make it to the bottom and no kid not quite down the slide to be ejected off by the momentum of the impatient kid behind them. To my recollection we never played “try to kick me in the face” on the slide. That would have been too easy. But we have all tried to ride down the hot aluminum slide all together and I got stuck and the weight of all the kids behind me pushed me forward while my shorts rode all the way up my asshole and crotch so far that I had to floss them out of my teeth that night at bed time. Yes a swing set is filled with so many possibilities.

My children played push the ice down the slide to the other one who would try to catch it. That one ended with a new pair of glasses and a bloody nose. My children had a high tech swing set with a bumpy plastic slide and as far as I know nobody got wedgies or burned asses from that one. But they did all try to ride down it together and catapulted their little sister off the first hump and she came running in for a band aid. When I finally saw what she needed a band aid for I was so impressed because she cut herself but good. But like the true medical specialist that she was at eight the wound was band aided without cleaning. She trapped the dirt in the wound. But what she really wanted to do is get back outside to play because her brother and sister were finally playing with her.

Moral of my story: Swing sets are a good time. Kids may get a little bumped and bruised, but that is okay. We used our imaginations and we got fresh air. My swing set gave me many good memories. My children’s swing set gave me even more. A swing set is the perfect toy. Also they make slides out of plastic because I am sure some one got stuck and got some two degree burns from the old aluminum ones. Those got hot and sticky sweaty kids trying to slide down them didn’t exactly go as planned.

Until next time 🙂

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