I was at a low point in my life. My heart ached and I couldn’t see through the darkness. I felt like a disposable human. I tried to hang on to my sanity and yet it was slipping through my fingers. How could I be here and hang on? My children were the reason to hang on. I saw their faces and that was the little bit of light that could evade this blackness around me. I had to go forward even though, I didn’t know how.
I have a savior, I just didn’t bother to get to know him. Perhaps it was time to go to church. My friend sat there and looked at me and she felt helpless as she could see the desperation in my eyes. She asked me again “How can I help?”
I don’t know what made my mouth open, or even where the courage came from, but I asked “Can you bring me to your church? Please?”
I saw the flood of relief wash over her face. Of course, Jesus saves! She hugged me and she said “That’s perfect actually!”
Sunday morning came and I was excited, I haven’t been to church in so long. I missed it! I longed for it! My empty soul needed it so much that it leapt at the chance to go. My daughter, dressed in her finest, was ready. She would do anything to see me smile again. I had been crying for months. I had lost close to thirty pounds. I smiled at her and reassured her that I was going to be just fine.
We met my friend and we drove to church. I walked through the doors and each person there looked me in my worthless eyes and smiled and greeted me. Like I was something special. I knew the truth. My daughter held my hand and rubbed it with all the love that she had for me. I looked at her and she was smiling too, through her worried lips.
“They have coffee!” she pointed out. They did, an entire coffee bar there ready to welcome us. We filled up our cups and found a place to sit. My daughter seated on my right side and my friend on the other. The both of them so concerned for me. How could I not see the worth I had in their eyes alone, I will never know. There were two eyes that I used for my measuring stick and they have been closed to my value for a very long time, I suppose.
The pastor stood up after the band played some song I didn’t know, He was a very joyful person. He had something that I was hoping to find. I didn’t know what it was, but I was hoping that it was in this place. I was hoping that it was for me!
I walked away with this message, “God loves you Where you are right now! You don’t have to earn it. He gives it willingly! That’s how love works.”
I didn’t know that love was like that. I worked desperately to get people to love me and still after I had given my best, I still hadn’t earned their love.
Next week. The message again was “God Loves You Where You Are Today! He loves all of your broken pieces and he thinks you are beautiful!”
I looked at my daughter and she put her arms around me as I sobbed in the church.
The next week. The message again “You don’t have to do anything for God’s love, he loves you! He just does!”
I wondered how many times this message was going to be repeated. In my head I heard an old familiar voice that said “Until you believe it. I will say it again and again and again until you know it in your soul!”
Every time I heard this message the darkness began to fade. The emptiness began to fill and I began to believe it.
I believe in this love! I hope that I always believe in this love. I go to church faithfully and I fill up every Sunday. I try to show this kind of love to those that I meet because I know how it feels to be empty and blind.
If this message is reaching you today, please share it with others. It is meant to be shared. It is meant to be a light in the dark depths that cannot be reached with anything else but God’s love for you. Let it be a beacon through the world so that we all may see clearly.
God loves you where you are today! He is reaching his arms wide for you to run into them. He will wait there until you are ready. He is good like that.
Until next time 🙂